Gift-Giving at Christmas: Play or Chore? Fun or Frustrating?
By Steve Gahagen
Gift giving at Christmas can be both a beautiful and agonizing thing. It can feel like work to find the perfect gift for someone who has everything they need in our abundant society. I recently talked to a friend who had 52 people on their gift list. When we can get anything we need or want delivered to our front doors with the click of a button, who needs Santa?
When I walk through Walmart and see people browsing the center aisles full of quirky and mostly useless Christmas gifts, I know they have lost the battle and are desperate. Those can’t possibly be the gifts that will create the touching moments of a Hallmark card commercial.
One of the beauties of Christmas is that it opens the door to giving gifts as no other time of year. I love that! You can give a gift to practically anyone and it won’t seem strange. And if you believe that the event behind the Christmas story really happened, you know it was the most extravagant and generous gift ever given.
Gift-giving should be fun and life-giving. But in order for it to be inspiring and not a chore we need to understand the essence of gift-giving. It’s not about the gift at all. It’s about the person. The ceremony of gift-giving is about communicating to the receiver that they are the gift. That’s why any gift given in a plastic bag is devalued, even if it were a diamond necklace. We give a gift because the person is a gift to us. I encourage you to find a way to communicate that this year. If you can, the stress of finding the perfect gift can go away.
One Christmas, Jane and I and our four kids wrote on gift tags to my parents that said, “You are a gift …” On each one we described a memory or a way in which they contributed to our lives. We put each one in an envelope with a $5 bill. There were sixty of them. It was the best gift we ever gave them and not because of the $5 bills.
Christmas gives you an excuse to let people know that they’re the gift. What I love most about facilitating strengths workshops is that we get to create an environment where it is natural to give gifts of affirmation to one another. Because we are discovering and growing in our strengths, the interaction is filled with energy.
Giving gifts should be fun. In this year of social distancing, in which we have gained a new appreciation for relationships, make sure the receiver knows that they are the gift.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
What is one of the most meaningful gifts you have ever received? How did you feel?
What is one of the most meaningful gifts you have ever given? How did it make you feel to give that gift?
Who are three people you can affirm this week, letting them know they have been a gift to you?