What We Are Missing in a Touch-Free Society
By Steve Gahagen
Matthew Hertenstein, The Director of the Touch and Emotion Lab at Depauw University wrote, “We are touch-deprived. Most of us, whatever our relationship status, need more human contact than we are getting. Compared with other cultures, we live in a touch-phobic society that’s made affection with anyone but loved ones taboo.” He wrote this long before COVID-19 made human touch even less likely than before.
There is immense health and social/emotional value in touch. The importance of touch for infants has been widely documented. Stimulating touch receptors under the skin can lower blood pressure. For example, women who hugged their spouse frequently had lower blood pressure - probably because a warm embrace increases oxygen levels in the brain.
Neurologist Shekar Raman writes, “It doesn’t matter if you are the toucher or the person being touched - the more you connect with others, the happier you are.” Your skin is your body’s largest organ and when its sensory receptors are stimulated, the hormone oxytocin (the one that makes you feel good) is released.
Touch is perhaps the most powerful tool in consoling someone going through a difficult situation. When people are processing grief, a warm embrace or hand on the shoulder can communicate more than any words.
Believe it or not, one study showed that students are more likely to enjoy the library and return if the librarian touched the back of their hand when they checked out. Other studies have shown that touch reduces asthma and migraines. And, even students who had to do math problems performed much better after a massage. Warm climates tend to produce cultures that are more liberal about touching than colder regions. You can’t get much colder and touch-free than in Minnesota, where I live.
Now, in the COVID-19 world, going to the store is like being in a zombie apocalypse movie. It is not just the masks, but the way most people are dodging other people - trying not to be in the same aisle, not get too close. When will this end and will we always be fearful of getting too close, of touching? What will the long-term consequences be?
I think of seniors who are sequestered to their apartments and are now devoid of someone’s touch or embrace. I think of young people who already struggle because there are few people in their life who affirm them through hugs or just a hand on the shoulder. I think of grandparents who haven’t been able to hold and hug their grandkids. It is easy to see why pet adoptions boomed in the early days of the stay at home orders.
Ideas to Consider:
Make a list of creative ways to “touch” people in our touch-free world.
How can you leverage your strengths to affirm others during this critical time?
How are you making sure that those who are in your approved touch zone are getting the physical affirmation they need?