Gift Giving at Christmas
By Steve Gahagen
Gift giving at Christmas can be both beautiful and agonizing. It can feel like work to find the perfect gift for someone who has everything they need in our abundant society. I recently talked to a friend who had 52 people to buy for. When everyone can go on online and, with the click of a button, have anything they need delivered to their front door, who needs Santa?
When I walk through stores and see people browsing the center aisles where the retailer puts out all the quirky and mostly useless Christmas gifts, I know they have lost the battle and are desperate. Those items can’t possibly be the gifts that are going to create the touching moments of a Hallmark card commercial.
One of the beauties of Christmas is that it opens the door to giving gifts like no other time of year. I love that! You can give a gift to practically anyone and it won’t seem strange. And if you believe that the event behind the Christmas story really happened, you know that it was the most extravagant and generous gift ever given.
Gift giving should be fun and life-giving. But in order for it to be inspiring, not a chore, we need to understand the essence of it. It’s not about the gift at all. It’s about the person. The ceremony of gift-giving is about communicating to the receiver that they are the gift. That’s why a gift in a plastic bag is devalued, even if it were a diamond necklace. We give a gift because the person is a gift to us. I encourage you to find a way to communicate that the gift isn’t the gift - it’s the person you’re giving it to. If you can do that, the stress of finding the perfect gift can go away.
One Christmas, Jane and I and our four kids wrote out tags to my parents that said, “You Are A Gift …” On each one we described a memory or a way in which they had contributed to our lives. We put each tag in an envelope with a $5 bill. There were 60 of them. It was the best gift we ever gave them, and not because of the $5 bills.
Christmas gives you an excuse to let people know that they are the gift. What I love most about facilitating strengths workshops is that we get to create an environment where it is natural to give gifts of affirmation to one another. Because we are discovering and growing in our strengths, the interaction is filled with energy and is simply fun. Giving gifts should be fun. Make it fun by making sure the receiver knows they are the gift.
Questions to Consider:
What is one of the most meaningful gifts you have ever received? How did you feel?
What is one of the most meaningful gifts you have ever given? How did it make you feel to give that gift?
Think of three people you would like to affirm this week, letting them know that they have been a gift to you?