The Story Inside
By Steve Gahagen
Self-talk reveals the narrative of who you are as a person. Author Patrick Foss said, “It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. The story makes you who you are. We build ourselves out of that story.”
What we say about ourselves has a profound impact on our behavior because it feeds our beliefs. Our future will be determined by the voice we believe. What does your self-talk tell you about the life narrative you are creating? What if people could hear your story within. Would they be surprised? What do our social media posts tell us about the story within?
A few years ago, my family bought me an Apple Watch. At first, I was against it. I didn’t need another gadget to manage. So, it sat in the box for a couple of months. Knowing my family was getting annoyed with me, I decided to give it a try.
The first time I went to the gym with my watch, I didn’t even think about its ability to monitor my workout. I got onto the elliptical and jumped right into my workout. A few minutes in, a notification appeared on my watch, asking me if I wanted to record the workout, specifically on an elliptical. How did it know? I was a little creeped out. But since I love keeping score, I quickly fell in love with my watch, if you can fall in love with a watch. I have found it helpful in recording laps while swimming. It’s nice for my mind to be released from trying to keep track. The little awards at the end of the day and week are a nice affirmation.
I must admit, there have been a few times late at night when I’ve been just a few calories short of my move goal, that I’ve run up and down the stairs a few times to get the award. I’ve gotten so accustomed to the watch’s tracking ability that when I have gone to the gym and forgotten my watch, I have wondered if I should still work out. Did I really work out if my watch didn’t keep score?
The Apple Watch, like other smart watches, also has communication features (messaging, etc.). A few times I’ve accidentally recorded a conversation with someone I was talking to through voice recognition. I can be clumsy with technology. What if your watch not only tracked your workout and heart rate, but also recorded the story inside? What messages would be recorded? Would you say those same messages to someone you loved?
I have helped facilitate a youth sports/talent camp for a couple of decades called, “Focus on the Goal.” At the conclusion of the camp, we create a highlight video. In the short three-minute video no one in the basketball camp misses a shot, no student in the golf camp misses a putt, and no kid in our science camp has a rocket that fails to launch. It’s a highlight video. What parent would create a video of their kid for graduation and highlight all the failures? When you loop your life video in your head, what are the scenes being played repeatedly?
Focusing on strengths instead of weaknesses can help us with the story inside. Since we tend to be a remedial society, it is far too easy to focus on what is lacking. However, focusing on things we are grateful for, recent successes, and positive words that friends, family, and colleagues would use to describe us can help us keep the story full of life and affirmation.
When we at Play to Your Strengths work with students, we are trying to help them with the story inside.
Questions to Consider:
How would you describe the story you tell yourself about yourself?
Name two recent successes and two things you are most proud of - whether related to work, family, or personal achievements.
How can you help others tell a positive story? Why is it so important?