Stretch Marks
By Steve Gahagen
We all know to play it safe is to lose the game. How often have we seen a football team, after mounting a lead, begin to play it safe and eventually lose. Life is meant for adventure, but we also know the strong magnetic pull of comfort and safety. A group of 90-year-olds were surveyed about their greatest regrets. Many responded that they regretted not risking more - they played life too safe. And now, at 90, they were limited in the risks they could take.
The place of growth is in stretching our comfort zones. I once did a teaching series entitled, “Stretch Marks.” My wife didn’t think the title was a particularly good idea, but it is only in stretching that we grow. The professors I remember from my past are the ones who forced me to uncomfortably grow, and at the time I wasn’t a fan. No one binges on Netflix or video games and says those were the greatest moments of their life. There’s not much stretching involved there. The greatest of times come when we stretch and grow and overcome difficulty. Pain is, in some respect, necessary for growth.
The natural ways people can get stretch marks are through bearing a child and growing quickly. They are the most common side effects associated with bodybuilding, weight training, and even weight loss. While working out tones up your muscles it also leads to stretching of the skin. The elasticity of the skin is the main reason why stretch marks occur.
We think of stretch marks as something to be avoided, something to be covered up - but when stretch marks come because of growth, we should celebrate. Stretch marks aren’t dangerous, and they can disappear over time.
As best illustrated by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his classic book, Flow, the moments in life we are most proud of can actually be stressful: The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times . . . the best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. *The lie of our culture is that you want to be comfortable. You do, but you don’t. Something in us dies when we settle for comfort.
There are moments in life when we choose to stretch our comfort zones. Hopefully, that is the consistent posture of our life. We want to grow, so we continually push ourselves as an athlete pushes themselves to achieve their next personal best. It’s also important to be surrounded by people who want to grow because you cannot become better when you choose to live your life with those who settle for less.
There are other times where stretching our comfort zones is forced upon us, we have no choice. An illness, an accident, the loss of a job, or a broken relationship force the issue. We have no choice but to stretch our comfort zones - to think differently - to approach our mission, work and maybe family relationships differently. Instead of resisting the stretch, embrace it.
As we begin a new year, how could this season in your life lead to such growth that years from now, you’ll be able to say it was a profound stretch mark? And although it was difficult, you’re thankful and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Questions to Consider:
Think of two seasons in your life when you stretched and grew the most. What were the circumstances and what did you have to do to make it a time of growth?
One of Gallup’s Seven Demands of Leadership is “Challenging Experience.” One demand of a leader is to take their team to greater heights and accomplish things that may have seemed impossible. How are you and your team challenging one another to go to grow?
How will you need to stretch in the next year in order to accomplish your dreams? What difficult things will you need to do?