Turning the Page to 2024, Part 4: Stop Trying and Start Training
By Steve Gahagen
A new year is a natural time for us to think about new possibilities and new beginnings. We reflect on our progress and success in the past, and create new objectives to become a better version of ourselves. It’s an important process in living our greatest story.
Often when wanting to make changes we say, “I’m going to try to be more healthy,” or “I’m going to try to read more instead of waste time on social media,” etc. But what if success is dependent upon us making the decision to stop trying and start training? "Stop trying and start training" suggests a shift in mindset and approach from mere effort toward deliberate, structured, and consistent practice or learning.
To stop trying and start training begins, ironically, with changing what we believe about ourselves. James Clear, a guru on change and the author of Atomic Habits, says:
It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying belief that led you to your past behavior. You have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.
Hal Hershfield, a psychologist at UCLA, tells us that having a “future self”—a better version of ourselves that we plan on becoming—will change how we live today. His research shows that seeing yourself as a different future person, empowers you to make decisions for the benefit of “future you.”
After we have established where we want to see change in our lives, we can build habits that will bring the transformation we desire. Winners don’t try, they train. To try is to attempt to do the right thing by exerting effort in the moment. To train is to commit to developing strategic habits that equip you to do the right thing in the moment.
So if you make doing the habit your win, you can win every day. You might say, “I’m in training. It will take some time to get where I want to go, but every day I am getting closer. And every day I do my habit, I win. That’s success.”
Duke University did a study and found that 40 percent of the actions people take in any given day are the result not of decisions but of habits. “We are what we repeatedly do.”
Discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want now.
What you want most: a happy marriage filled with love and intimacy. What you want now: to watch TV. What you want most: to be slimmer and healthier. What you want now: that chocolate donut.
By the way - living the right life is almost impossible if you have the wrong friends. Want to build better habits? Join a community where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.
Questions to Consider:
Where do you want to see change in your life?
What beliefs about yourself need to change for that transformation to take place?
What habits could you create that will help you be successful every day?
How can you leverage your strengths to be successful in making those habits a reality?