Know What You Hate
By Steve Gahagen
Knowing self is listed first in Gallup’s Seven Demands of Leadership. Knowing what you hate doesn’t make the list, but it’s an important question.
When coaching someone, I often ask: “What are your greatest frustrations from day to day?" The question opens our eyes to the possibility that many things that annoy us are behaviors that frustrate our natural areas of strengths.
But there is much more to this question than that. What we hate can define us. Basically, we are defined in part by what we love and what we hate. What we love determines what we will invest in, go for, move towards, and give time and resources to. Likewise, we can know a lot about people by what they hate. Character is in part formed by what we hate because we move to be different from whatever that is.
Our hatred protects the good. Think of it as being like the energy that pushes a boat away from a dock. We use the energy of hate to move against that trait so that we are not docked to it.
The second way hate benefits us is that it causes us to protect what we value. We hate it when things we love are threatened, so we move to protect them. Evil triumphs when we no longer fight for good.
I grew up watching the cartoon, Popeye the Sailor Man. He was a superhero of sorts and, when needed, would pop open a can of spinach to give him super powers to fight against evil (The whole cartoon might have been created to get kids to eat their spinach, but it didn’t work for me.). In the moments leading up to the crisis, Popeye would often say, “I canst take it anymore.” What would cause you to say, “I canst take it anymore. I have to do something!”?
Sadly, in our divisive culture we are often encouraged to hate people or people groups. Our hatred should never be aimed at people, but instead the things that destroy others and become barriers for them to live their greatest story. We should hate that many young people feel so lonely or hopeless that they would consider taking their lives. Righteous anger can drive us to action and to sacrifice for what is good.
Questions to Consider:
What frustrates you or annoys you from day to day? Does it have any connection to your strengths?
What do you hate in terms of injustices in our world? Have you ever had a Popeye moment?
How could you leverage your strengths to fight for what is good?